Mental Health and Privilege

Do privileged circumstances invalidate our struggles with mental health?

By Vera Li

Raise your hand if you have ever apologized for talking about your problems because you felt like you “shouldn’t complain” when you “have it so much better than other people”.

Many people struggling with their mental health fall into the trap of comparing their suffering to others. We tend to assume that because other people “have it worse”, this means that our problems are trivial and that the fact that we are struggling is a sign of a weak character. We might believe that we have no right to feel anxious or depressed when we are so privileged, perhaps because we have a great support system, the absence of major traumatic events, or a stable family life.

As you might expect, these comparisons rarely solve anything and only make us feel so much worse.

But the truth is that your problems are just as valid as anyone else’s. The fact that you’re struggling with low self-esteem about your grades is mutually exclusive from the fact that your friend is struggling with a severe depressive episode, or the fact that someone else is enduring PTSD from a life-altering event. We are separate people with separate lives, separate problems. A “great” life doesn’t minimize what’s happening in your head, and the fact that you are struggling with your mental health in the first place likely indicates that your life is far from “perfect” anyways.

Mental health isn’t a competition. You shouldn’t have to keep suffering just because someone else might be suffering more. If you are struggling, you deserve to be validated and loved just as much as anyone else.

I also want to point out that I actually think that it’s a good thing to recognize privilege. Of course, it’s not healthy to use other people’s struggles to belittle your own struggles, but I believe that there’s immense power in recognizing that someone else is also going through a rough patch. Recognizing your privileged circumstances doesn’t have to minimize your struggle, but instead, I think it can inspire you to feel more grateful for your life and also be more compassionate towards others’ struggles. For example, acknowledging that I have food, water and shelter doesn’t mean that my life is easy and that I can’t possibly struggle with my mental health, but recognizing that I am privileged in these aspects can help me empathize even more with a friend struggling with their mental health in the midst of a financial crisis. Because I already know how difficult it is to struggle with my mental health even with such a fortunate situation, I will be even more supportive of a friend who is struggling with anxiety and depression on top of an already stressful financial situation. In this case, acknowledging my privilege doesn’t make my own problems disappear, but it does help me better connect with and support someone else who is struggling, which I personally think is amazing.

Empathy for others is a beautiful thing, and being able to recognize how lucky you are in certain areas of your life can definitely help you forge better connections with those around you. However, I want to reemphasize that privilege doesn’t erase your struggles, and if you are struggling, you deserve support, no matter if someone else is struggling more. I hope that more of us can learn to acknowledge our privileged circumstances and not use it to belittle our own problems, but instead, use it to become more empathetic, caring people towards the people around us.